Long Distance Relationships Communications

Living miles away from the one you love can be tough. When you have limited time to see each other, communication becomes a pivotal part of the relationship. But what’s the best way to keep in touch? Video calling, using programmes such as Skype, means you can see your beloved before you on the screen. But when the novelty wears off, it seems that the good old telephone will do. But how come taking on the phone is just so important? Here’s why...

We’ve all seen the old movies – the ones where the girl waits by the phone for him to call. It’s all part of the search to find love. Well, not that much has changed in dating expectations. Sure, boy or girl can do the calling and it will probably be on your mobile phone rather than a landline, but the excitement of receiving a phone call is still there. 

It’s no different once you’ve been together for a long time. Couples in a long-distance relationship will learn to ‘read’ each other over the phone. They can sense a smile in the voice of their partner and share comfortable silences or shared jokes. 

When only one sense is activated, it heightens the others. On the phone you listen and then you speak. On video-calling devices the whole conversation becomes a visually stimulated one, but one that is devoid of touch. 

Prolonged use of video calling can actually have a detrimental effect on an LDR. I know when I was in that situation I began to question what the point of it was. I would rather talk on the telephone and listen to my partner’s voice than see a pixelated version of him every morning before me. Sometimes only the real thing will do. 

It’s so easy to let your mind wander when sitting in front of your computer screen. There’s the internet and, beyond that, a bottomless pit of information. How many times have you been sat on Skype talking to someone while looking at something else at the same time? In an LDR it is important to make the most of the times you share – whether these are in person or talking from your separate locations. 

There is something so much more personal about calling someone up and sitting down to talk to them over the phone. It doesn’t matter what you talk about, whether it’s thinking about where to go out in Paris or planning ideas for free dating in Cardiff the next time you see each other or how your new job is going. Take your time to converse. Let the other person finish before you begin. Enjoy the silences or interruptions, awkward or not, and eventually you will find a rhythm and really start to talk. 

Everyone’s in a rush nowadays, with no time to wait for others. The same can be said of a relationship, but an LDR is slightly different. Both partners have made the decision to wait for the other – to wait for a time when they will be closer together. 

In the meantime it is important to keep up the romance and that’s where the phone call comes in. Sending someone a text or instant message online lets you know what going on, but it lacks something special – the voice of the one you love. Speaking to each other on the phone allows your emotions to transfer through your voice much more so than on a video call.