Despair. How much is enough?

[dzodzo]

Here's my situation. I fell in love . That's not the end of it though as you would guess . She had a boyfriend in the spring and I told her how I felt. A month of "I love you but I don't but I love but I can't" went by before she went back to her country (she was studying abroad). We chatted and skyped, she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years immediately and within two weeks she had a plane ticket to come back to stay with me. I'd feel bad about the ex-boyfriend but some people aren't meant for each other. We had a connection that a lot of people would be lucky to have in their life time (I hope you all do ). I'm not a child about relationships. I've been in plenty of long term relationships and although she's not perfect, she's perfect for me... provided we can get over this hump. She visited me for 5 weeks and it was wonderful except... well except that she seems unable to commit to anything. She claims that I'm the most important thing that has ever happened to her and if I were to listen to her, I would conclude that she's completely and utterly madly in love with me, as I am with her. Still, when it comes to plans to see each other next she can't commit to 3 months ahead of time. It seems to hurt the most exactly when you care the most because what the other person does, all of a sudden, becomes your world. She went back two weeks ago again and we have been trying the long distance thing but she seems utterly pessimistic about it and again can't commit. We broke up three days after she got back because I needed her to commit and she wouldn't but I buckled and took her back a week later without getting the commitment from her because, well, I love her. It's so painful. The issue came up again and call me crazy but I really feel like when you love someone you can't wait to see them and making plans for three months ahead of time is not a big deal. What should I believe? She says she loves me and has already flown over to see me but can't commit. I'm going crazy with the contradiction. Is this normal for women to go through? Any answers, anything, would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,
Confused

[rachel]

YA IT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW SOMEONE THAT WELL. JUST GIVE HER TIME. ALSO I HATE TO SAY IT BUT BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO AND SHE JUST BROKE UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND AND HE IS THERE AND YOU ARE WELL WHERE EVER U ARE. AT FIRST WHEN A GIRL BREAKS UP WITH A BOY IT'S EASY BUT GIVE IT TIME AND SHE STARTS TO MISS HIM. IF HE DIDN'T TRY TO GET HER BACK SHE WILL EVENTUALLY WANT HIM BACK IF HE HAS BEEN THAT MAKES HER PRETTY MISERABLE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW U THAT WELL SOUNDS LIKE, MOST DEFINITELY NOT IN LOVE BUT THAT TAKES TIME. LDR'S ARE HARD.