Is this the reasonable thing to do?

[motocross1357]

I just want to know given the situation if its the reasonable thing to do. I'll provide some info first.

Quick Background: Ive been in long distance relationship in college for about 5 months now and out of the 5 months we have seen each other for almost 2 months (breaks,visits). However incidents have happenend. The first month of this new relationship she drank a little too much (shes a lightweight) and tried sobering up. I later found out how she tried. Apparently she some how ended up laying in bed with a guy trying to sober up. She didnt do anything though but **** the lack of respect? she apologized and she felt really guilty for what she did and she knew she would have to work hard to regain some trust she lost. Because of this she ended the friendship with him in order to make me feel more comfortable. Well 2 1/2 months roll by and another incident happens. Her college was having a party and she attended to it while i had work to get done. Through the minimal communication that night i found out that she was taking care of her guy friend that was too tispy to be on his own. im getting texts every hour by this point and by that time its already 3 am. I finally called her and she rejected my call. I called her again and she picked up. I asked what was going on and she said she was watching a movie....by herself.....at 3 am..... Given the tone of her voice and how she was acting, i didnt by this at all. She began making this story up and she contracted herself and that was her fall. Then everything poured out. Basically she had lied to me about what she was doing, ouch. She had danced with a guy, Ouch. That entire night her and that same guy had been flirting all night, ouch. She tried sobering up by sleeping....on that guys chest, OUCH. When she texted me she had to get up to get to her phone, text me, then go back to laying down with him. Then finally he tried reaching up her shirt BUT she claimed she denied him and soon they parted ways. She also told me that she had danced with 2 other guys in the past and didnt decide to tell me. when youre in a long distant relationship you dont do any of this. the relationship is sensitive as it is! you dont rub your *** against somebody elses dick. have some respect for the other person.

Anyways a month has passed since then and i thought all communication between them was over, (i just figured) but actually this isnt true. She has 2 classes with him and sits next to him and whenever he's around she greets him and makes small conversation with him. Im not comfortable with this, so i felt it was appropriate to ask her if she could stop associating herself with him because it makes me uncomfortable. But she said she isnt cutting off a friendship, not again. (So stop screwing up! is what i told her) But she said that she doesnt want to, that there is no harm being done in class, they are just acquaintances. Well thats what i thought before and now look what happened. Can a lot happen just by talking? she claims no, nothing at all. is this true?

Please i just want to know if im doing a reasonable request. Shes calling me crazy and saying im going over board. If thats true, okay i'll try and change and figured it out. im just so hurt by this and the fact that she doesnt respect me enough to give me this hurts. maybe im thinking about this the wrong way. but anyways, i just want to know what i should do???

advice other than my own is very much helpful.

[Kimmi_Angel]

heya
ok, from what ive just read, i think that her behaviour is unacceptable. I mean, ok, sometimes people might go overboard with the flirting and say some things they shouldnt, but there is a difference between just saying meaningless things and physically doing things. Although she isnt sleeping with her friend, the way shes acting is strongly suggesting to him that she wants to go further.
I also think that the fact that shes lied to you intially about whats happened but then changed her mind and told you means she feels very guilty about whats been going on. It might be a good think that she feels guilty but from where im standing, it seems if the things she does are actually honest, meaningless mistakes, she wouldnt feel as bad as to go back and expose herself as a liar but just be honest and tell you straight away.
The fact that shes had "run-ins" with other guys more than once would make me seriously worry, either she thinks this is acceptable behaviour or she doesnt care. I would ask her to stop getting so drunk with guys, it seems its when shes drunk these things happen and to stop socialising so much with this guy outside of class - keep their friendship professional.

Ive had bad trust issues in my relationship, most of the way through due to flirtatious behaviour and only now, after 2 years am i realising that being a bit flirty while talking to someone isnt going to lead to cheating. Ive asked my partner to stop seeing or talking to some of his female friends after "incidents" (not cheating but things i think are unacceptable) and he agreed initially, but over time we've both realised that not trusting eachother is making things much harder for us. Its hard, but i have to let him prove himself to me again, start over as if none of the bad things from the past has happened. But it will take both of you to work through it, both of you to talk about how you feel and be compleatly honest with eachother.

I really hope she co-operates, i think she should unless she doesnt care about how her actions are affecting you.
Kim x