We've been together for 6-7 years physically, really. We met in college and for the summers we were apart for 4 months at a time so we felt that me going to Japan for a year wouldn't be too difficult for us since we've done it before (and he plans to visit in 6 months, so we just have to make it two months longer than we're used to!).
The problem is I am a much needier person than he is. I find myself wanting to say "I love you" and "I miss you" all the time, but he's mentioned that I was saying them far more than I normally used to. I cut back some, but I told him that when I say them (especially more so than usual) it's because I'm having a rough time and I just want something familiar from the man I love to help me feel better. Since then he's been more supportive of that side of me.
But it gets hard. I want him to devote more time to talk to me when he isn't at work. But the only time I feel we get to chat is when he's at work during his down time during his morning and my night. Once he gets home I get a few lines out of him in messenger or text and he's off to play some game. I feel thrown aside. I know I need to talk to him about it, but I need to wait until I have internet because I just don't want to have an important discussion on a messenger service about how I wish he would devote more time to trying to have a conversation. It feels like most of our conversations consist of small things about our day, I love you's and that's about it. I feel like the time killer when he's at work, and when he gets home I'm no longer the time killer.
I don't doubt he loves and misses me. We still talk and plan about our future. I have absolutely no reason to distrust him. I just want more and am desperately waiting for internet to be hooked up so I can ask for more.
In retrospect, this is how our LDR has gone in the past during summers. I didn't like them then, and I don't like it now. I don't feel like I am asking for too much when I want maybe an hour of chat time when he gets off of work before I have to go in to work.
Here's to the long hawl!
|
