positive experiences

[cmonmiracle]

Looking through this forum, there are a lot of posts about doubts and arguments and the like. I'd like to hear more about what's great about your relationship with your SO, despite the distance. I'll get things warmed up...

My SO and I met online a year ago and have been talking nearly every day since. I never expected to connect with someone on this level - I was beginning to think I wasn't capable of feeling strongly about anyone. The distance between us has given us an opportunity to be completely certain that this relationship is not based solely on sex (although we're pretty spectacular at that ). When we do get to see one another, we never take it for granted (which many close proximity couples do). All in all, I couldn't be happier (except if we were physically together) and I'm damn certain I've found the love of my life.

Can long distance relationships work? Hell yeah.

Tell me about yours!

[devilmoonkid]

woo! Well done for making this post!

I feel the same way! I always come on here to try and help people with some of their problems, because personally i feel TOTALLY lucky with my LDR, and I want other people to share some of that positivity!

Like you said, some of my best memories ever are our trips together, they are so much more special when they are rare, I treasure those times. Lots of couples don't treasure their time together, some don't even notice each other! But we are NEVER guilty of taking one another for granted

I feel like, even though sometimes I miss my boyfriend, on the whole I seem to have been 'made' for an LDR. I really enjoy having my own space, because it gives me the chance to be independent, and live the life I want to lead, but always with the knowledge that I have that support there. And whenever I get tired of my time here, I know that I have a place to escape to, another set of friends and opportunities. Mostly it feels like the BEST of both worlds.

Obviously, in an LDR you miss out on the physical contact, I think that's the hardest thing. But I am an optimistic person, and I generally am able to stay positive and cope with stuff, and d to me it just adds an extra layer of interest and a 'spark' when I'm with him that I might not have with the 'boy next door'

It's been 11 and a half months, we are approaching our anniversary, and he gets more and more romantic all the time, we connect so brilliantly on the intellectual and physical levels....our relationship relies on that great connection, and started based on our conversations, rather than on looks, or like it is for some people, just basic 'proximity', 'it was because they were there' Some people say 'i don't know why i got with that person', but I know exactly why I'm with my boyfriend, and he has to be pretty darn special to merit such a lot of effort, so I see it as a testament to how great we are as a couple that both of us want to make that effort.

I think it gives us both a chance to 'sort things out' with our lives, and work through some REALLY important relationship issues which many people just never tackle. When your are in an LDR, you find yourself talking about the future, about what each of you wants. You have to start making those decisions 'how far would I go for my partner - would I move towns? would I move country?' It shows a dedication, a commitment and most of all a level of trust that some people just don't have!

Basically, I know he's the right man for me, and although I'm looking forward to the future, I honestly couldn't imagine living any other way right now.

[rachel]

I'VE BEEN WITH MY LDR FOR 4 YRS AND WE ARE GETTING MARRIED IN JAN 2011! IT HASN'T BEEN EASY, BOTH OF US COULD HAVE DONE THINGS DIFFERENT BUT WASN'T DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER.

[gray78]

I must agree...this is the first real positive post I've come across since finding this site!

I do want to say though, that I have found a lot of relief in reading this forum. There are people out there who 'get it'.

The good things about my LDR? I'd have to start at the beginning, so I will but I'll attempt to shorthand it a bit

I have yet to find anyone who has a similar story to mine. I actually met the love of my life on February 10, 1996 completely by chance and accident. If that's possible. A mutual friend of ours moved to a neighboring town and we were both there to help them move. I was 17 and he was 18, both still in high school. He took my money and then chased me...probably a bit typical of high schoolers, lol. We did get in touch and went out on our first date a few days later. We had an amazing relationship for a little over a year. No real drama at all either, even for teenagers who attended different schools.

A lot of things happened and we went our separate ways. I have since been married and divorced twice and have 3 kids from those marriages. He and I have remained in sporatic contact over the past 14 years, even got back together once after my first divorce but due to a lot of unresolved things, it still did not last.

We didn't have much contact for about 5 years, and shortly after our last split he moved to a different state for a job. We ended up reconnecting again on February 10, 2009. Ironic, aye?!

We have been together ever since, ups and downs. We live 6 hours away from each other so we'll be lucky to see each other once a month. A lot of what keeps me in this relationship is the strong bond we have, which I am not sure we'd have if we hadn't known each other prior to our LDR. We really don't have a lot of issues at all. We have a high respect for each other and trust in each other, which I think is necessary regardless of the distance in a relationship.

The one thing that could be better is regular phone communication and obviously, more frequent visits. He is single, no kids no nothing, so it's just easier for him to get away and come here. He doesn't like to travel much so that puts stress on our relationship.

We also have no real plan yet to close the distance, which somedays gets to me. But I am still trying to put my life back together after my recent divorce, and a lot of the time at this point, the distance is actually helpful. And I know he's always there - he always has been, through it all over 14 years. We teach each other something everyday, and challenge each other in everything we say and do, in a fun way. Being with him, and having him in my life, even in the little bit of time we actually get to spend together, brings me into a whole other amazing world.

He's an amazing person - understanding, loving and supportive. Sometimes I just have to let down my guard and let him in a little more He has always seen ME and loved ME for everything I am and everything I'm not. He smiles and shakes his head and says "Yep, that's her and she's with me. Aren't I lucky?!", even during my worst moments. If that isn't love, then I don't think love really exists.

I find myself getting upset too, but I try very hard to take a few deep breaths and then think about the real reason I am upset. Most of the time it's because i am missing him so much, and it's not really at all about whatever issue I think I'm having. I think about all the reasons why I am with him, why I love him and it helps take the edge off that passing mood.

[motherindiacard]

Yes it work... Long Distance Relationships can miss every moment to each other...

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