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My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. We met in the summer when I went to my home country, and dated for 3 months while I was there. The only problem was that before me, he'd had a girlfriend for 5 years who he was really serious with, but things ended really badly for them and he was ready to move on! When I returned to the states, our problems began. He wouldn't call as much as I would, and I felt like we were really growing apart. Then something happened that rekindled the relationship, and in December after 3 months of being apart, I went back for 20 days. These 20 days were perfect, and we realized that we loved each other. I've been back for 2 months already, and I feel like our relationship is dying. I'm going back in 2 months, I'll be staying for 4 months. Then I'm gonna come back for 3 months to finish my final semester, and move back. So there's not much time left for us to be apart. Lately, however, I've been really annoying him by over and over again calling and fighting about where he is, who he's with, etc. The past month we've been fighting a lot, and I guess I am to blame :( Recently, he said maybe we should stop talking for a week, just so I can see how it is without you. I told him that if he didn't want to be with me, he could just say it. He said it wasn't whether or not he wanted to be with, but how much he wanted to be with me. He said he wanted to miss me, and that I never gave him a chance. After that conversation, in which we decided not to talk for a week, he called 2 days later. We spoke as if nothing had happened, but it was very tense. The next day I texted him, and he called me. We talked for a long time and he said that he's at a point in his life where he doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't want to hurt me, but he can't stop talking to me either. So I asked him what he wanted me to do. He said to understand him and give him time. This is what I decided to do. However, I told him that if we stopped talking now or talked once every 10 days, our relationship would deteriorate. After that he's been calling, but once again, our conversations are very tense. Yesterday we spoke about this subject again, and he said that because we haven't spend that much actual time with each other, the distance is making us grow apart. He said if we'd been together for 3-4 years and you left, it would be completely different. And I said that I understand, but he also knows that in just 2 months I'll be with him again. I am so confused. I don't know what to do. He makes more of the calls than I do, I'm trying to give him his space but I also don't want to lose touch. I know that if I was there, or when I go back, all of the feelings and emotions will return. But I'm scared that he'll give up before I go, and our potentially great relationship will be ruined. What should I do??? :( I feel so hopeless and lost, I really don't want to lose him because I know how great things can be if he just doesn't give up yet...
| Feb, 26, 2009 By ma1988 (United States - Armenia) |
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